I like to think he’s tried, but he keeps fucking up. Like, he thought one of his buddies killed the neighbors dog, but it turns out it was just bad gas station pork and that how he got brain worms. And one time he was trying to shoot a dog on a leash, but missed and somehow hit a bear. He didn’t want the bear, so he dropped it off in central park. He’s just been trying and trying, but it never works out.