Coming soon: artificial organs subscription plans. Keep up the payment’s, or the shit turns to jelly.

Yeah. That’s the armor of the spirit. It’s gonna be some right wing bullshit to indoctrinate kids. Not that anyone is surprised…

I really thought they were trying to say the campaign would be 40 years long…

90% of the article was written before the debate even took place, and they didn’t bother to spell-check the remaining 10. Nice work, BBC, you got it out quickly, I guess.

10/10 world leaders are short-sighted, personal study suggests.

Put him in gen pop!

History shows that they don’t even really understand that, either.

I like to think he’s tried, but he keeps fucking up. Like, he thought one of his buddies killed the neighbors dog, but it turns out it was just bad gas station pork and that how he got brain worms. And one time he was trying to shoot a dog on a leash, but missed and somehow hit a bear. He didn’t want the bear, so he dropped it off in central park. He’s just been trying and trying, but it never works out.

With all this talk about eating pets, how long until we hear about the Republican cabal that eats disobedient dogs that aren’t trained for hunting?

Is this copypasta?

This motherfucker is gonna call Drake a pedophile on the 50 yard line.

Jokes on her, they sold their principals to foreign interests years ago.

Someone give that man some muzak.

Unless you are trying to do this without an Internet connection, I can’t see a reason to not use Virtual Desktop instead. At least then you won’t have to deal with wires.

Remember, SPF isn’t how strong it is, it’s how long it lasts. SPF 100 isn’t any better than SPF 45 if you are out in the sun for 2 hours.

Well, fuck me, my High School Chemistry teacher was wrong. That’s on me for not fact checking my rural education. Listen to @SpikesOtherDog@ani.social I appreciate the correction.

Couldn’t write the article without bringing up All I Want For Christmas Is You, huh?

Worth it. Am I right, high school football fans?

When he takes the jab at Chicago pizza, that is the look of pure joy on his face.

Asian men were attacked while inside their BMW. Holy shit that title was rough.

The article doesn’t mention any mental or health reasons. Just “retiring.” Seems like an asshole move. I’m sure there was someone else who would have happily run in the Olympics if this person hasn’t been trying to squeeze in one more round of medals.