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WASHINGTON (The Borowitz Report)—The luxury 747 gifted by Qatar to Donald J. Trump was totaled after Defense Secretary Pete Hegseth drove it into a tree, the Pentagon confirmed on Wednesday.
According to witnesses, Hegseth decided to give the plane a test drive after discovering it in the Pentagon parking lot with the keys in the ignition.
Soon, the jumbo jet was spotted doing wild figure 8’s before veering off the lot and into the nearby woods, where it collided with a massive oak.
The regrettable incident was only the latest setback for Hegseth, who earlier this week was ordered to change his Pentagon password from JohnnieWalker750ml.
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